Lemonade: 2008

Today as I was sitting back in my room sipping coffee from my mug, I suddenly realized that my cell phone was alerting me in and out of some missed calls...I fetched it out of somewhere from my bed covers and to my dilemma I found 3 missed calls from a friend I never thought would try and keep in touch with me so frantically...

Flash Back…..

It was 5th of January, 2008 after spending a wonderful day with one of my very special school friend in Jaipur...
my school time friends remind me of the colorful days of my school life ,a period which I'll reckon for life time....but changes do happen , I had to have a college life ... so do i have one, I had to bid her a good bye ...so did I...

I reluctantly boarded a bus to my college, my city, Laxmangarh.

I didn't want to go back to college so that I can run out of the pressures and studies of course.

Traveling off late has started interesting me but the destinations scare me ( and more if its Laxmangarh....yeah that’s the place where I study..)

I thought that 3 hrs ride back to hostel wont be tiring but it was mentally tiring ...what would i do once i get back there, all the upcoming pressures and n how to handle the mental cobweb..?

I didn’t even realize that the 3 hr long journey would pass in a jiffy....traveling in Rajasthan in winters has its own beauty...the deserts are really beautiful , their monotony speaks for them, and every face in the desert tells a tale, the deserts are very thought provoking, the monotony has frequencies....

I avoid talking to strangers while i am traveling and specially some questionnaire kind of people who are always willing to learn your geography and history without even knowing your name, their presence creates a uncomfortable ambiance ,one such man was sitting next to me, he triggered a conversation by asking me the time, ass$%^#....... he was fussing with my travel time brooding, after continuously ignoring and snubbing his silly chitchat I encountered his final question...."Am I bothering you much? "...... I stood dumb hearing to him...he probably must had sensed that i was least interested in talking to him.....I managed saying no so as to pretend to be decent. :)

After 2.5 hrs a place named Sikar comes on the route of Jaipur to Laxmangarh, Sikar is a big stop for all the long distance buses in Rajasthan, my bus stopped on a regular note, that fella got down along with some other people never to come back again ; and a new group of people got in to accompany me for another .5 hour journey to my destination, some people got down to answer to their natural calls ,some came back with jazzy packets of eatables and glasses of tea.

The sitting arrangement in buses here is done in two phases -A triplet of chairs on the right and a couplet onto the left. I was sitting on the window seat of the triplet seats, the bus was about to start suddenly a young man came in and asked me if someone was sitting besides me, I responded saying a no, it was quite obvious that the man was looking for a female company for a lady, he immediately got off the bus and suddenly a girl in a black burkha got in the bus and approached me with a very warm smile, a smile I'll remember for all my life .....a welcoming smile...
She captivated me with her smile.... there was something in her smile...\

She offered me a cup of tea in her hand...
the way she looked at me...the way she had wanted to know me...the way she tried to pass me her tea cup without even bothering to know me...that innocent face still flashes back in my mind. she sat next to me.....
the man who had come to ask me for the seat appeared again from somewhere... he was also inclined to get me tea.... after my constant refusal they finally got the idea that I wasn't at all interested in the tea...
the bus was about to depart...
I thought that he was her husband...dunno y ?or may be coz he ensured like a responsible man that she was comfortable enough, after a couple of minutes a young boy of nearly my age came in n sat next to her.... n took her custody... and the man i assumed as the girls husband got off the bus...
the whole scene seemed to be as that of a bollywood flick..."a little innocent gurl being guarded by numerous males"
finally the bus started off from Sikar... the girl was so damn amused to be sitting next to me... anxiously observing all my things....my watch, handbag, specs , hairs, earrings,clothes and every bit of me...
Suddenly I realized that the girl has got married sometime back...because her hands were printed with henna all through and were loaded with bangles and rings ...one of rings she was wearing was very capturing (it had a diff style and was carved out of silver, you could have loved her just by seeing her hands....they were very pretty)
she was wearing all sought of odd gold ornaments i could ever think off.......
she was a small village girl thrilled to explore a new world around her ,a world she was aware about but has never had a glimpse of ...
her eyes were reflecting her simplicity and the child in her...

After starting my college life I have to travel long hours as my college is over 500 kms from my hometown... and thus I come across a lot of strangers ,I never take too much interest in the people I travel with because I like spending time with myself... but this was for the first time that a stranger in a bus had got over my mind so instantly.. though i meet a lot of interesting people while traveling...but they never add relevance to my future... but this girl did...

I am still unable to recollect how our conversation began...it happened quite instantly !
I remember that after hesitating she had asked me whether I was traveling alone..? I replied in a yes.... it was something really unusual for her...this was just the take off her inquisitiveness ....she wanted to know everything about me and wanted to tell everything about herself....

She came up with her next question ...
Was i married or not?

this is one question which most of my friends out in Rajasthan and I have to face quite often by Rajasthani folks... because the marriageable age of females there is quite low...and they feel startled by seeing girls of our age unmarried...
after denying to her quest she suddenly said that she got married 7 days back... I smiled back at her to see the excitement in her eyes(i forgot to tell that she was wearing a lightly hinted kajal in her eyes ,which made her look all the more gorgeous).... she said she was going back to her parents home in Bikaner and was extremely thrilled to get back to home for the first time after marriage and her brother had come to pick her up from her in-laws place ,and the man who had come to drop them to the bus stop was her brother in law...
She told that her parents had got her married in Sikar ....and she missed her parents bad ,though her in-laws love her and keep her busy with the daily chores ... I sensed agony in her voice when she said "daily chores....." there was something which she was sad about,her eyes were telling that ... I thought that she's newly married n thus must be missing home badly ...
She again asked me when would i get married.... she was keener than my parents to get me married........ I said I dunno but its not happening soon...
I was awestruck when she said she was only 18.... a lot younger to me... n i was more startled to know her husbands age ...he was a MAN over 26.... I felt bad for her... she wasn't aware of the world around and before she could realize this her parents had set her off with a man, she has been directed to serve him for her lifetime...render his children n look after his family ! God the whole idea was so scary for a girl of my age and upbringing... couldnt digest her reality.....
My inquisitiveness in her was growing leaps .... but couldn’t manage the guts to ask her anything after thinking of her future....
but at that the time she was happy ...she was going back home...
she talked about every bit of thing she could think of , she had longed for friend to speak to had she got one..... i became all ears for her....

Her name was " ZULEKHA".... i loved her name... the way she spoke her name.....
I being a avid kajal fan and knowing the fact that Muslim girls have a fair hand with it , asked Zulekha that which kajal she uses (look at me ...heights of being fashion conscious even in critical situations :P )
she gave a very expected answer that she uses home made kajal... i told her that her kajal made her look really pretty.... she suddenly became very shy and to flip the topic she said she wasn’t carrying the kajal with her else she would have given me hers... she got hyper with the kajal thing...i had to calm her saying that I'll make kajal for myself once i m home [ ya , she even taught me how to make that kajal :) ]

with all my courage I asked her that was she happy being married and why did she got married so early without even completing her studies...... all she could say was that she is one of the five issues (3 being girls) to her parents and had to marry early as there was a lot of financial burden on her family and they engaged her when she was 15 and now finally she and sister got married on the same day(so as to save the costs of marriage)....
but she said she was happy and content post marriage and her husband took good care of her ...even showed a gold wrist watch he had gifted her on their first night :) she told her husband works in some Arab country (aww, i forgot the name) as a clerk ,and had come for a month to India to get her married... and would take her along next time when he'll come to India which some how made me feel very sorry for her... :(
but then i thought that this wasn’t a bad deal either ..she seemed pretty fine and had a big bag of surprises waiting for her and life is about changes... which keep happening to all of us...

After speaking to Zulekha over all odd sought of things suddenly my eyes got stuck to a family planning advertisement been painted on all seat covers of the bus seats sponsored by GOI containing all kind of crap a contraceptive add can contain.......... " Safe Sex, Single partner,2 kids.....blah blah ...."
Complimented by a silly picture...
Zulekha suddenly saw me reading the add.... and looked in my eyes and said "ADMI KOO YAHI CHAHIYE.........."
gwadddd....... my heart skipped a beat.. I was like what ...? What did you say..?
She said that this is what a man wants..... I was like no that's not true... she said "u agree or not but the fact is that the only way to make a man happy is this...... I know....." I was like girl .....what the hell are you saying.......... ?
I was like why do u say so.... she's said that once u get married you'll get to know....... I repeated again that is not true..... but didn’t argue long becauses she was all in tears.... I asked her "girl what’s wrong...?"
It didn’t take long to realize that she was facing some kind of sexual abuse .....
I didn't know what to talk... calmed her down.. and was like it'll be fine.. Dont worry !! But somewhere knew that it wont be fine...
I managed to ask what was wrong with her?
She told her husband forces her to bed every day which is very painful and she cries out of pain every time he does so..... I was like how can he force her for anything without her consent ......... she should stop him right away.... I didn’t know what to say... I was numb ..didn't know what to speak ...all I could tell her was that she should sit and speak to him... he'll understand you...
She said that she had tried her best but he says its normal to be in pain for some days and things become fine gradually... what a jerk... she started weeping all the more.. :( Cant even imagine her misery.....
I told her its normal but he shouldn’t force you for anything or deliberately take you to bed.....
I asked her that y did she say that her husband took care of her...........how does he takes care.... this is not taking care...he has made the most beautiful chapter of her life into a scary movie........she said he was good but didn’t listen to her when it came to bed....... dunno how she found him good...
I just realized that the baby doll was out of her cocoon..... the helplessness of being uneducated ... forced to slavery to a MCP....
Felt that old Indian males still dominate the females and think that they are the bosses and can use a girl the way they want to....... Reality flashed in front of me....... didnt have a heart to face it...... didnt have the courage to weep in front of her...
She was so helpless .......she couldn’t put it in words but her eyes were speaking aloud for her ..about her misery........
She said that she couldn’t speak to anyone over this...and cant stop her husband.......
He seemed like a moron to me....
I couldn’t cry .........
Couldn’t understand how can a man get off treating his wife so badly......
Is this still the reality of rural India??

This was the flip side of the Zulekha's story....
couldn’t tell her anything...... she was uneducated..... couldn’t even ask her to fight with him.........
Just asked her to speak to him ... try and explain him that sex is a mutual act and not a one mans play......
This was for the first time I confronted the ugly reality of a uneducated village girl.. out of her covers.... it was scary.......it was heart pounding..... didn’t know how react.....just asked her to try to complete her studies... be worldly wise when she moves out in a different country... and learn to speak in front of her husband.......marriage is about two people and their lives and wishes....and man is no God....

We could'nt talk any more , I had to get off the bus..my destination had come.... we exchanged our numbers.... didn’t want to go... but had too.......

She suddenly took out a silver ring out of finger and gave it to me...it was the same ring .....she again left me in a dilemma ..didn’t know what to do... didn’t want to break her heart and didn’t have a heart to take such a expensive gift.... she some how convinced me by saying that she has a identical ring and i should keep this one as she would always remember me when she'll wear her ring......as she said so i just took the ring.... couldn’t manage to break her heart....
thought of giving her something but couldn’t find anything of worth to give to a very special friend ... somehow i managed to find a pair of earrings in my hand bag.... gave them to her... she just smiled and kept them... giving a promise that i would call her in my weeding...... :) and would stay in contact with her...

Zulekha left a impression on my mind for a life time....there was something in her .... her eyes still haunt me at times...

P.S.
Zulekha sacrificed her life for her parents by getting married to a unknown odd aged man .....what a devotion... !
We talk big.. women being equal to a man.......We speak of women’s lib.... we get off with everything........ but what of a girl who deliberately takes domestic violence in her stride so as to preserve her family pride ... because she knows that she wont have any where to go if she goes against her husbands will.... she knows no one will back her up in times of trauma and agony...but she doesn’t know that she is living with agony.........
she is a living epitome of selflessness and devotion....

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Zulekha keeps calling me..... she still gets startled when she gets to know that i m shopping alone in the market... or i m dinning out with my friends....
and one thing she never gets out of focus is to ask me about my marriage date.... and all the time i disappoint her saying that its a long way to go....
and every time asks that would i invite her for my marriage or not.....and gets profoundly happy when i tell her that she will be my top guest ..... :)

I request all of you to contribute your best
to stop any kind of domestic violence towards females....
Physical violence of any kind is a big crime.....and seeing crime happen in front of you is also a crime... Stop it...!
A woman is the creator of life.... respect her...!

Lemonade

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Let's Celebrate Life :)

Saturday, April 26, 2008

These are the people...!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Zulekha