Happiness, Success and life

Past few days a lot of thinking has gone into what's & why's of life, yada yada. So much so that I am probably just not the same person I was six months back.
Trust me, I must have done something so right to have been able to take the big leap of faith and take a break from the vicious fancy corporate job and a big city life. All this came down to one question or an answer, maybe. What was success to me? How did I evaluate my progress in life? Many people ask me what is that you want to do in the long run? I clearly have no clarity at this point of time in life to where I would want to end up. Also, I am kinda sure I am already past the phase where success would come kissing me the conventional way (or me kissing her, either way would have been cool ;')) Ohh wait, snap, maybe just maybe, I am already successful. Maybe success necessarily didn't mean big money or fame. Maybe success is also to be able to want to do something/ anything and to be able to do it.

I never heard anyone teach me about happiness, all I heard them was talk about success. But typical me, burned my hands too soon only to realize that it wasn't always necessary that success brought happiness. And happiness is the only success, in its truest, purest, greatest and most elaborate kinds. To me it is to be able to do whatever I want to do right now. Like maybe paint? Or pack my bags and leave into the wild? Or like write, pretty much what I am doing right now. Or just be home with parents after long 8 years. Or to be able to enjoy the moment doing nothing. If it truly makes you really happy, why not?


I met the most successful people, in every way the society thinks they should be, only to find they were the most unhappy people. (Like a CEO of a fortune 500) And also met ones who did not make it big, ones who just make basic living to be the happiest souls ever.(like a masseur from Europe working in the Indian Himalayas) Priorities perhaps? Thus maybe its not always worth fretting over. Embrace happiness. Sending positive energy and wishing happiness to everyone reading this :')

Parents in India...this one's for you :)

Very recently my dad told me how one of his friends wanted to meet me, desperately :s Apparently their kid is going the unconventional education way ( neither engineering nor medicine :P) and he is worried about his future. Knowing my choice of unconventional career path, I was thought of some help.

This squared down to me thinking, what could I suggest him, when he finally gets to meet me. Ample things I could tell him about various unconventional career choices, following-your-heart success stories; but the point was, will it make any sense to a worried father who desperately wanted the kid to succeed.

Somehow there was only one thing I could bottom line, which was, let the kid do whatever he likes to do. Let him follow his heart. The only greatest thing a parent could do for the kid was to show their full support, in the kids’ decisions and choices. Only when you make them believe that they can be successful at whatever they choose, you give them wings. There was no other way.

A friend who happens to be a pilot once shared with me: "I never knew flying was my passion Pallavi" I asked, then what made you choose this profession?

My mind was blown with his answer. He told me how his father observed his brilliance at driving cars and taking instructions and thought he would make an excellent driver a.k.a a pilot ;) No wonder his dad's observations were very correct. Visionary genius I call him. To be able to see through your kids heart & passions. Probably, you want to do that with your kid too? Instead of forcing them the conventional ways which you think would guarantee success!

And most importantly remember your kid is not your old age investment plan or a pseudo improvised version of you. They are their own individuals. Trust me, if they ain't happy, you ain't getting anywhere anyway!:)

p.s: I always thank God for the coolest parents ever!

Trolling.. a new religion on Internet

Like many of my posts, this one too has been on my mind for a very very long time.

Its the new adventure sports I observe around specially on the social media like Facebook, Twitter, Secret et al, its called Trolling. Supposedly considered to be for the elites, better cookie points for better trolls. More likes and shares for darker deeper sarcasm, making the troller a demi God amongst their circles. The trollers creative juices improve by the passing days and they become parasitic feeding on your silent likes and shares. These parasites derive some deep satiation in bringing people down. Like feeding on others literally!

I somehow always found myself really out of the place in any forum where I saw trolling being the mainstream. And I comfortably gave blind eye to all these trolls and minded my own way for better, quietly.

But recently something made me think and feel really hard. Got to know from a friend of friend that she felt terrible about the casual remarks people make about her on a friends chat group. Although I was on the same group but I never actively rose my voice against it and became a part of the herd passively. It started from simple little humor and went upto personal remarks.

I feel nauseated seeing people pull down people in the name of trolling. Even when they know the recipient is not enjoying being the butt of their jokes. What kinda joy does one get by hurting, insulting, making fun or making personal remarks on anyone known and even worse unknown people on the social media? Trolling is pretty much accepted and considered cool these days,funnier your troll the cooler you are.
From individuals to corporates (refering to Flipkart's recent #BigBillionDay) to celebrities too these days ( Alia Bhat per se, common she is just 21, what were you at 21? Get a life? ) Cynical and sadist such trollers sound to me.

By the way, here is how wiki defines Trolling "a troll (/ˈtroʊl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people,^[1] by posting inflammatory,^[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response^[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.^[4]" 

What kind of human one is?  Doesn't one has anything better to do in life? Are you a parasite? If yes, like seriously? Maybe use your creative energy somewhere better?

Raise your voice. Maybe that friend or acquaintance you always bully/ see getting bullied is silently developing trauma (quite probable!) Also, by hit and trial, I learnt, funny things are funny only when they are happening to others. Make trollers taste their own medicine ;) 

Suicide..is it worth it?

Okay. I have been wanting to write about this from a really long time now. But something really serious happened recently. It made me come here and talk instantly.

A close friend tried to commit suicide last night. Thankfully she is safe and recovering. I feel nauseated and really sick in my stomach thinking about what if's.

My dears, i know, sometimes it gets really tough to pull through the journey and there seems no hope at the end of the tunnel, whatsoever. I know how difficult are those times when you do the self talk. How you feel as if the whole world is against you.

Trust me its just a matter of a phase, which eventually passes, always.

Just hold on, hang in there. Your life is much much more precious than whatever is bothering you. Your problem is not more powerful than you are. What if a relationship didn't workout or your job sucks or you have family issues. Its not the end of the world. Nothing is. You gotta wake up and try harder next day. Maybe talk with a friend? Or anyone random? Or maybe go out and hug a stranger? Or maybe reach me? Its tough I know but that's not the end of it. Quitting is probably always easy, but you have got a beautiful life, why would you? Why waste it because of things which trouble you so much. And I'm sure those people/ things/ circumstances which forced you till here are totally not worth your life. Is that guy/ girl who broke your heart, cheated on you worth it? Or your difficult boss or inlaws worth it? I am sure no one is worth it. You are precious more than you know.

Please don't loose hope. Trust me it all falls in place. Look harder. Try harder. And believe me you always will have a way. Maybe all you need is a hug which you don't know about. I know its a lot easier said than done. But its not impossible.

If you cant count even a single person who loves you or cares for you or would miss you after you are gone. Gimme a shout, speak with me. I am around. But please try once more? Because you are precious.

Wherever you are and reading this. Sending you a big bear hug. Hold on.

Ps: I lost a very close friend many years back. He couldn't get over a broken relationship and decided to quit. Trust me it still haunts me after 10 years. Is that how you would want anyone to remember you? Really? Look inside once again.

Bucket List: 101 Things I want To Do Before I Die

     I made this list almost a year back. Its a very personal thing, but I thought about sharing it today, hoping to inspire someone, like someone inspired me to make mine :) Its fun and a good way to know yourself :D 

1. Scuba dive at the Great Barrier Reef
2. Get a Tattoo
3. River Rafting
4. Horse riding, again
5. Become a certified  scuba diver
6. Be a life guard at a beach for a while
7. Step once on all the continents
8. Run for a 10 km marathon
9. Make a sustainable living from making and selling handmade; handicrafts/ paintings/ lamps/ jewelry
10. Backpacking in Europe for a month or more before I turn 30
11. Swim at a stretch for 1000 mts, 5000 mts
12. Sell handmade at an exhibition
13. Make a wall graffiti
14. Teach underprivileged kids, often
15. Teach art/crafts to mentally challenged kids
16. Put up a painting exhibition, lamps exhibition
17. Make my sister VERY proud of me
18. Kiss the sky from a hot air balloon
19. Party and spend a night on a private beach sleeping under the sky
20. Go on a blind date
21. Sky dive
22. Do interior decoration of a house, completely
23. Ditch my cell phone and WWW for 10 days continuously
24. Workout to get ideal figure once in my life ;-)
25. Start an NGO in the name of my mom and grandfather
26. Try to make a difference in the lives of Sex workers in India
27. Learn wave surfing
28. Write a blog and a book
29. Swim in a sea and an ocean
30. Find love and marry him- someone who understands all my craziness and is a little crazy too J
31. Learn to cook non veg for friends
32. Learn to eat chicken
33. Not get addicted to drinking or smoking or anything else ;-)
34. Watch a sunset from a boat, ship, plane and a cruise
35. Make someone laugh, daily!
36. Pet a fish, dog, cat, rabbit, a bird
37. Live a no contact life in a hill station
38. Become the marketing head for a FMCG company
39. Surprise visit my grandparents and parents
40. Spend a month at a stretch with my parents and grand parents
41. Have enough time and money to buy a one way plane ticket to ANY place in the world for the same day.
42. Learn French <3
43. Get a psychic reading and a tarot reading
44. Work in France for a year or more
45. Board a train alone without a ticket.Traveled second AC #likeaboss 
46. Wear a mask and paint a city wall in the night. Banksy style!
47. 10 day meditation retreat at Vipassana Center 
48. Learn Mediation and Meditate daily
49. Volunteer at a Vipassana Camp for 10 days
50. Learn and practice yoga
51. Learn one dance form; ballet/salsa/ cha cha
52. Experience astral projection
53. Dive from a ship and a cliff
54. Learn either of them:  face reading/psychic reading/ aura reading/hand reading/ reiki/ tarot reading
55. Get an eve teaser caught
56. Specialize in cooking one countries authentic cuisine apart from Indian, ofcourse! Thai, maybe?
57. Learn to play a music instrument, proficiently
58. Volunteer at a special needs school
59. Attend A. R. Rahman’s live concert
60. Meet a celebrity while travelling
61. Spend a completely unplanned day chatting up with strangers from another part of the world 
62. Drive Harley Davidson with a leather jacket on :P
63. Be a vegan for a month minimum
64. Paint, often
65. Make a baby!
66. Promote positive self-image and thinking
67. Learn everything about Buddhism and maybe convert
68. Travel to a new place once every 6 months
69. Tell my family and friends that I am grateful to them for being in my life and being so awesome, tell often
70. Quit a job without another in hand
71. Travel with best friends
72. Roadtrip on a bike
73. Skinny dipping at Maya bay
74. Witness firefly chorusing
75. Witness bioluminescence
76. Witness aurora (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIXs6Sh0DKs)
77. Spend a night in a forest
78. Inspire someone, often
79. Travel on a ship and a cruise
80. Support a kids education, thoroughly
81. Ride in a helicopter
82. Go para sailing & paragliding
83. Get a massage by the beach & the hills & on the road
84. Witness sunset at Golden Gate Bridge
85. Visit Las Vegas and play at a casino
86. Travel abroad solo for leisure
87. Travel and stay solo in India for leisure
88. Travel without a plan and a return ticket
89. Visit world’s largest aquarium
90. Learn driving a car
91. Watch penguins walk
92. Swim with whales ,turtles and fish
93. Learn to not be afraid of lizards, aah, one day, maybe!
94. Public speaking to a larger audience of over 1000 people.
95. Strawberry and corn plucking from farms
96. Travel international for work
97. Donate a body part
98. Tomorrowland, Brussels
99. Burning man
100. Help everyone as much I can
101. Take care of my parents when they are old
102. Donate a percent of my earning, consistently
103. Gift dad a swanky car and mom a diamond jewelry
104. Travel in a train for continuous 36 hours
105. Invest more in experiences than asset building and shopping
106. Places to see: well on a list of 194 countries these are just some basic pointers ;) much is never much!

·        Europe : Spain, France, Paris, Italy, London, Iceland, Scotland, Croatia, Hungary, Russia, Venice, Switzerland, Prague, Santorini, Amsterdam, Belgium, Austria, Finland, Cyprus, Vatican city. Okay, almost everything: D
·        N&S America: USA (Disneyland, Las Vegas, New York, San Francisco) Canada (Niagara falls, CN tower, Toronto), Haiti, Brazil, Mexico, Guatemala, Nicaragua
·        Africa: Mauritus (Rodrigues Island), Seychelles, South Africa (Sun city), Tanzania
·        Asia: Thailand, Singapore, Malaysia, Cambodia, China, Japan ,Vietnam, Bhutan, Nepal, Tibet, Maldives, Srilanka, Turkey, Burma
·        Oceania: French Polynesia(Bora bora, Tahiti), Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, Indonesia
·        Antarctica: Paradise Bay (Yes, that too!)
·        Well, India: Leh ladakh, North East, Gujarat,  Himachal Pradesh, Rajasthan, Kerala, Karnataka, J&K, Uttarakhand, UP, Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu, Goa

Okay, my list is a little more that 101 :D but, I don't know which ones to remove :(

p.s: the ones cancelled are already done :D and half cancelled are half done :)

I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ J

26 things I learnt at 26 :D

     These are the things I have learnt from personal experiences and now truly deeply believe.This note is primarily for myself to come back to as a reference point. Things I kinda always knew but now know a lot better because of my ongoing personal development break ;)

So here are the things I want myself to remember for my life. Like always!

1.      You are what you think you are. Your life is a manifestation of your own thoughts.
2.     Be grateful and thankful for all the good things you have.
3.     Law of attraction works big time: you attract to you what you think. Thoughts become things. Both good and bad.
4.    You make your own destiny. You are your choices. Your thoughts make you. Think POSITIVE
5.     Believe J. You are magic!
6.    Also, be good, do good. You pay it forward, mostly.
7.     Never miss a chance to help anyone in need. Be nice but don’t be an idiot and get yourself hurt, be nice and smart ;-)
8.     The more I have given the more I have gotten. ALWAYS.
9.    Love fiercely. Never miss an opportunity to let your loved ones know that they mean the world to you.
10. The world is full of people. People, who will make you positive, people who will drain you out. Choose your people, much wisely.
11.   Never let anyone ever tell you that you can’t do something, not even YOURSELF.
12.  YOUR MIND IS YOUR BIGGEST POWER. Use it constructively. The mind should not master you, you should.
13.  Do what you have to do. Let the opinion of people not stop you.
14. Only if you are happy you can make others around you happy. It’s a vicious cycle. Begin with yourself first!
15.  Never settle for anything less than what you deserve!!
16. Negativity is a drug. Don’t indulge much!
17.  It takes 21 days to make a habit, make wise choices!!!
18.  Goodness is the ONLY religion. If I can’t be a good human being nothing I believe makes any difference to anyone.
19. Hug often, it’s the best therapy. xx. ^_^
20. What doesn't kill you definitely makes you stronger
21. The only person in your full control is you yourself!
22. People would treat you many ways, good and not so good. It doesn't tell much about you but a lot about them.
23. Life is short. Just do what makes you happy.
24. Never take anyone’s shit. It’s never worth it. Never. Period. So speak up.
25. Never ignore family; they are the only ones who would ALWAYS be by your side.
26. Life is not about being serious J let the kid in you never rest J

How did the travel bug hit and bit me?

Retrospecting today, I was asking myself, where did it start? When did I get so addicted to exploring. It hit me subconsciously but really hard!

My parents decided to spend summer of ’01 in Waterloo, Canada as dad was working at the University. We stayed in the countryside full of students from all over the world. My sister and I used to spend our evenings at the nearby campus club and used to meet a lot of students from around the globe there. 

One such evening at the club, I was speaking with a girl who was our neighbor too. She told me how people traveled wherever they wanted to once they finished college and had some savings. How she went trekking with friends for a month the previous year and was planning to backpack Europe next fall.

This may sound pretty normal to me or anyone today, but 13 years back to a 13 year old Indian girl it seemed truly rebellious, nonsensical and scandalizing. The whole idea of backpacking and travelling the world was so very cool yet so intimidating.

Probably that’s where it all started. It seemed almost impossible to me to have been ever able to do it but now I know where the seeds sprouted. Rest is history ;-)

KASOL..A PIECE OF PARADISE ACROSS PARVATI VALLEY

Kasol is like love, you can feel it but not really put it words. Its that childhood drawing you grew up drawing come alive. River erupting from the mountains by the pine trees and some cottages nearby. Much like heaven.

Its an Israeli backpackers heaven which the world tells you, and they are not wrong, as I discovered that Israelis and many European travelers have discovered India way better than we have. Brilliant scenery, live and raw music, some fine art, delicious food and ofcourse the premium cannabis.
I could see and smell weed plants in every possible corner, from the farms to the sewage pits.

I think my words can’t do much justice, thus making a visual tour for anyone who dreams of a little heaven. Though I feel the pictures won’t really justify the reality, but for now this is the treat ;) Here is the picturesque Kasol for you.

That’s the view you sit by and wonder, if it was a lie or did it actually happen.

Pretty pine trees by the mountains

I dream, just dream of a house like that. One day, I tell myself.

The most refreshing tea I have ever had. This mint tea took me back to Pratham cafe by the Parvati Valley. 
The owner plucked these mint leaves from his kitchen farm. 

Mom told me, hills are risky in the monsoons. Sure mom, they are. But that’s when I get to see them with their necklaces, clouds. :)

Ya, every corner, literally!!

Well, Bhuntar to Kasol was like moving in a wonderland. That was out of my bus window.

You wake up, walk by and sit by this tributary and think how should your day should look like :) Well, brilliant, ofcourse!

Also, some snow clad peaks peeping out.

IWalked back half way through this pine forest thinking it was never going to end and I would get lost!

S   Sigh, how my childhood scenery came alive.

The bed of fog over the valley, pinch me.

...and here’s yours truly at her happiest self just sitting by the Parvati Valley!

Kasol happened like lot of other places which  just happen to me, often. *wink wink* The universe conspires and takes me places mostly :) That’s something you start believing when you find yourself in places like Kasol.

Goodness I meet while traveling

If I had to tell you about my priority one love in life, it surely will be travelling, without a second doubt J

Being a female traveler in India, comes in a big package of some brilliant goods and little bad’s. 

Often everywhere we read and hear the bad ones usually rank high. But, I discover for myself every time on the road that the bad’s are just a tiny little percentage of the package.

One thing which never ceases to surprise me every single time is the goodness which is still so much present everywhere around. I realize the world and specially India is so very full of good people. People who go out of their way to share, help, care and cooperate. All it takes me is to reach out and ask. 

I have always noticed and now come to believe that the basic humans instinct is to connect with one another. It could be over something as simple as the color of the trees or maybe over the same brand of Decathlon bag on our shoulders while climbing a hill, which I just did half an hour back J We tend to connect and communicate, it’s innately present in the our human nature.

The goodness I discover everywhere just doesn’t find an end. It’s a constant which can be felt everywhere. The more one travels the more one discover that.

All we need to do is worry less, believe more and explore the goodness in ourselves and that of the people around J 

Well that was talking about the goods for the heart, here is what you get for the soul while wandering :)
Out of my cafe table right now.

Logging off from Mcleod Gang, India  J

So little time all the time

I sit back in my bed today morning, planning and sorting out itinerary for my next travel to Kodagu :)
I must tell you, probably quitting this job has been one of the most liberating feelings I have surfed lately. And one of the biggest realisation which has stuck me is that there is so much to know, so much to learn, so much to travel, so much to read, so much to watch, so so so much to do and so little time. There has been so much which I have missed out in the past few years which I want to catch up with now :) Not that I did not live at all in the past, but a 9-6 corporate job takes much much more than it gives. Not that I have any regrets about it as I got to learn a lot, meet a lot of interesting people and ofcourse did some awesome travel too ! I might go back to a job in some months again, but for now with whatever little time I have stolen for myself, I want to make the best of it :D

But when I look in retrospect there is much more I could have traveled and learned and explored and one thing which brings me here today is that in the world of limitless possibilities I have a clock ticking in my mind which pokes me every passing minute that I can do a little more.

I wish, just wish for time, some more time and some more time to soak into the wide open ocean of life.

Something which frustrates me a little is that is the thought that I may not be able to travel to all the places in the world, read all the awesome literature or even know about all the awesome songs or learn all the magical arts and crafts. I am in the process of making peace with the fact that how much ever I might consume there will still be something left untouched. Time I wish for you to be a little sweet to me :)




p.s: I am not a perfectionist and lately I have even given up the urge to be one, because that is one thing which steals so much fun out of so many things ;)

Straying partners: Acceptance and beyond ! This one for all my girlies :)

As I promised to myself a week back that i'd return back here more often and pamper myself a little solace with words and some old Hindi romantic songs like this ! My little share of the heaven :)

As a promise of confidentiality to my friends whose stories I am going to share today, lets call them Ragini and Vani.

Both Ragini and Vani are my awesome girl friends from different parts of the world, with whom I evolved as a person and thus so much love <3
Like most of us both of them too had burnt their hands with love and molded their broken hearts with time and some wine ;) Whats strangely similar in their stories is that both of their last apparent crushes were happily married with a kid, but there was no infidelity involved as they never crossed the lines of "just friends" and both of them proudly managed to abort anything significant which could have happened.

Day before yesterday Ragini came home to meet me after a long while and was all smiles, she seemed unusually happy and not so cranky about her job which did not make her happy most of the times. After we struck little conversations she went on about a guy she had been telling me from past couple of months. He was apparently charming, interesting and not a pushy chaser which we all shun from a far off distance. They used to sweat out together at the same time and place.....  at an office gym, oouch  ;) it was somewhat a perfect fix to set up those flames ;-)

They were probably enjoying the first phase of knowing each other, it all started over some IM's followed by a couple of dinner and movie meetings. She was happy this guy didn't chase her  frantically and was a very happy company. I could see that hope in her eyes that 'maybe' he was her man.
As the evening progressed Ragini suddenly burst out in giggles, joking that probably she should check on him if he was married, Reminiscing her previous experiences with douches. What to do, demons haunt us. I instantly reacted and told her how she was a pessimist. Negativity usually makes me sick. Thus my sudden reaction. How I believe not to doubt people unless they give us reasons to. She got my peace of mind, that she had all the probabilities of being considered retarded and also the chances of damaging the relation. How she has to be positive, et al.

She calmed down, There came her phone getting flashed on my face with his handsome whatsapp picture and the usual curious me convinced her to check his public profile for more pictures, if we could find it. (BTW our very typical anti social Ragini doesn't have a FB account and quite firmly believes that FB is just a spy spot for everyone and anyone !) Bazinga !! we found his profile within seconds and took even lesser time to flip thru' the pictures and stumble upon one with a lady in his arms. Here came our eyes rolling out, in split seconds our heads processed, he was MARRIED !

She was very disappointed, but what brought her comfort was the fact that they were still just good friends and it had not progressed anywhere much ahead. So convenient it was for him to skip this portion of his life in all those talks and meetings, so easy it was to fool around on all those dinner and movie dates. So damn easy it was for him to just be a charming talker :) Ragini was a little shaken and happy at the same time, Happy that she discovered the truth very soon ! She left after a while leaving me with a stack of questions. It probably didn't disturb her as much it did me. I had a bad sleep followed by a lousy day at work. What probably shook me more was the thought that what if I get married to someone who strayed out of house like so many others? Would I be able to survive the agony? 
We all know the basics cliche foundation of marriages some 20 years back don't exist anymore. The norms have changed multifold.

Next day morning at my desk a little lost I confided in my friend and happily married neighbor. She is my angel at work, always welcomes me with a smile and gives me company on all those good and not so good days at work. She listened me out calmly and knew how disappointed I was about the whole idea of men cheating and flirting haywire, specially the married ones :(
There came her words of wisdom from a 10 year maariage; Pallavi this is the bitter truth of life and its not always fair and some men are 'like that'. She told me how she was mentally prepared if she had to raise her kids as a single mother if she ever faces something similar. Something just rang inside me, yes that was true, many men go stray at one point or the other. I have myself seen so many go! Why was it still so hard to accept?

Probably today I found the answer to that question, maybe men are evolutionarily and biologically programmed to do so, probably this was something beyond their control too, probably we girls didn't think the way they did and maybe we are plain different. Afterall humans were not designed to be monogamous. All these thoughts somehow calmed me a lot but in noway I could still buy infidelity. To me it was the big daddy of all sins. Thoughts like these have made me a little pessimistic about the whole marriage institution in the past. A big realization and acceptance came to me that in all probable situations it was anyday better to be single, but a girl would still need the support of a man to raise a family (like we have always seen at home !) but keeping a more realistic approach to all things (men) and still living at your terms was most important.

Yes it is- Acceptance of the world the way it is ! Acceptance of the things we cant change much ! Acceptance of the ecosytem as designed by his highness ! Acceptance of the differences!

A promise to myself to not get too lost and know when to move ahead !

The sweet little simple things in life :)

Today, I visit my blog after year’s altogether. For something which moved me so deeply that it brought back the urge to come back here and share. I first went looking for my journal, but it seems I have forgotten it in yesterday’s rush to leave office.

This week we had Holi and both my awesome flat mates have gone back home to their loved ones. I could not make it home like every other Holi from past 5 years I have been spending here in Bangalore.

My roomie Gargi has lately been my distress support and I was a little sad when I heard she will be not around for a week. Before she left I told her; how I am not a loner and how I hate being all alone these days. There were times in the past as growing up when I used to absolutely love my own company and you could leave me all alone in the house for months together :)  Gargi instantly held me and told “Pallo alone time is the best time when you are closest to yourself and you discover yourself even in more meaningful depths”. She made me very positive about the alone time I’ll have. I had to finally face the fear of answering the portions of me which I had been hiding for a while now :)

During all this alone time at house the only company I have is of my maid Asha who comes to clean the house at 7 sharp in the morning every day. I look forward to her ringing the bell so that I could have someone smiling at me and asking "didi bhalo bhashi?" (Meaning didi r u fine :) ) Today she was exactly 15 mins early so that she could manger some extra chores in the house. There are times like these when you realise the value of every single physical human company you have and I absolutely looked forward to seeing her. While she started her work, I prepared tea for both of us as both of us were up so early and I did not feel like heading for work so soon :) otherwise preparing tea on a weekday mornings is a task which usually goes undone ;)

I asked her to leave the work and have tea with me. After 5 mins with all her composure she came and sat across the dining table with me. Something I really admire about her is however small or insignificant her work might be, she never thinks anything little about herself. She completely understands that it’s trivial to be biased on work type and thinks no less of herself than any of us. She has absolutely no feelings of being any smaller than anyone.

Usually I have brief conversations with her on the usual weekends when she sometimes oils my hair.
Asha had a child marriage and also had a baby even before she could understand what it meant to be a mother.
While passing the rusks to her, I asked her if her husband and 2 year old kid were fine. If she was planning to go back to her village in Dhaka as mentioned few months back. Now that she told that there was no work back home and thus no reason to go back and most importantly she was happy here in Bangalore.

Typical me went ahead and asked what made her happy here because both her husband and she earned less than 6000 Rs. a month and how did she plan to work it out in future, because to us educated souls less money by default means lesser happiness. She started speaking with me in half Bengali and half Hindi she said, didi do you know Sundarbans?? I nodded in yes. “They are very beautiful, my village is very near to them, but my husband is very good.” I instantly smiled at her sheer innocence and intellect together, how much she valued and loved him. Questioning further, I asked what makes you say that, she said my husband has taken care of me. "aaamar husband Khoob bhalo (my husband is very nice)” is next what she shared. I was all smiles by now. I inquired if she ever studied and to my utter surprise she has till standard 6th. Curious me asked further, then why did you not go ahead? “Didi I got married after that :)” I concluded instantly that she was not happy about it. But then she went on further….telling me names of all jewelry ornaments in Bengali and showing me with her hands with what was worn where; “my husband bought me all those, he is very good bought me so many clothes and jewellery, but they are all in the village” (made me smirk! yes Jewellery did make all females happy, its universal :P )

She went on praising him and telling me how he had saved some money and bought her some earrings last month. How he feeds their son when she is out to work and occasionally cooks for her when she is not well.

I thought to myself how so many little things can make one happy, how easy was it to do these little things for each other to keep one going. How simple and reflective her statements were. How simple life is for her.

Her contentment with her life made me a little envious. Despite having so little of the luxuries we take for granted it was so easy was to be happy. Happiness for sure did not come from big fancy materials or comforts we are so used to in our lives. For Asha, it was these simple little things her husband did for her to make her happy. She is such a relief to me after having dealt with maids who had husbands coming home drunk and beating them up for more money. She is infectiously positive about things.

She filled me up with so much contentment and the urge to be even happier with whatever I had in my plate and be grateful to everyone who has stood by my in the past one big year of my life.

Just a small little reminder to myself for the start of the day, to find bigger contentment’s in little things and gestures around me. Practice contentment and gratitude more often.

a little promise to myself to come back writing some more as it does align my thoughts and help me unwrap those peels inside.

and it is time for me to get going to start another crazy breathless day at work :)

With love.
p.s: it will make me really happy if Asha could make you feel a little alive. Feel free to drop me a signal :)